he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
