end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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