Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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