im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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