Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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