So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
someone owes me an orgasm
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
