Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
