Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize