Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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