Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
