I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
