idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
