you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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