I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Girls should come with a carfax report
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
be right there i have to get my cape
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
