Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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