I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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