dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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