Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
