he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
