Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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