where am i from again
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
