I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
