Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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