I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
