I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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