we're blogging at a bar
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
