At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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