Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
how drunk are you?
Several
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
