call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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