smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
