I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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