Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
