I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
