never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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