He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
