I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My penis needs a shock collar
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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