does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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