dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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