OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
