Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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