Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
