Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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