Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
