you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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