if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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