Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sober January is a disaster.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
