So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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