D3 body, D1 cock
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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