He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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