A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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