google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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