So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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