its not stalking. its research.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
