I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
only you would photoshop your dick
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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