Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we made out on top of his cat.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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