you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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