Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize