She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
