Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
