just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
