I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
