So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
